Are you having a Date or Just Hanging Out?

MCMG: Putting Cameroonians on the Map

Women are often termed as natural detectives, but lots of them have failed to detect the differences between having a date or hanging out. I could hangout with anything, anybody and at anyplace. Hanging out for me requires no special arrangements, dressing or venue. On the other hand, whenever I meet that special lady deserving of a date, I meticulously plan for it. Paying attention to how I dress, the way I speak, the questions I ask and the answers I respond to question directed to me.


It’s really worthless to emphasize to someone the reason why you need their company, either as potential date or perfect hangout partner suitable enough for a one night stand. we live in a time of uncertainty and being afraid to ask for clarification, so dating and “hanging out” are becoming one in the same. But here’s the catch: they are COMPLETELY different beasts, so make sure you understand which one you’re falling into.


A date in this context could mean: a romantic appointment, engagement or rendezvous. hanging out could be socializing with a friend or friends, whether it is of your choosing or not; most of the time the term is used to refer to having fun.


Say, I get meet a girl, we get to exchange pleasantries, discuss and exchange numbers. I will wait for at least a day or two to pass, just so I do not come to her as  desperate, needy or pushy; then I will send  a conversation opener text to her. From her vibes and connection I’ll  establish if she worthy of a date or just hanging out.

If she’s a girl friend material, through my subsequent text messages and calls, I will try as much as possible to create connection, knowing details about her which will help me build a better connection during our first date.

If I establish her to be a perfect hanging out partner, sex partner, a one night stand; my next messages will be darker and flirtatious.


4 differences between having a date and hanging out are illustrated below using Buea, Cameroon as a case study:

  1. Dressing: If I come looking all spruced-up and looking like a shiny penny,  probably with a fresh hair cut then be rest assured we are not just hanging out.

  2. Venue: If am to take my love to be for a date in Buea, it will be in any classy and standard restaurant with low music or a natural environment conducive enough for a cool conversation. Taking my crutch out for a hangout requires nothing, but fun inspiring environments like bars: ‘Las Vegas’, ‘Hamburg city’, you can begin to name all the loud bars in Buea. Hanging out demands no special communication: already flirted over text messages, knows the color of her favorite panties and told her the hangout was going to be painted ‘Red’.

  3. Conversation: In a date I limit the conversation just about my love to be and I. No talking about our friends, funny events at work, or anything else. Unknowingly, the conversation just revolves around the both of us trying to get to know each other, intimate details and all. Hanging out is more like an interview, a question and answer section; fewer than 15 questions.

  4. Romantic Intent: Romantic intent, is the entirety of the differences, It’s the feel and intention of the interaction (casual = hanging out, romantic = date) that defines the experience.

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